Blythe Spirit

Getting a fix

I’ve been without consistent technology for the past week or so, and I survived. Since we last met, I spent a few days in Montana where they do have the internet (Craigs List just launched there!) but no one has notified my dad. The movers arrived yesterday and carted away our belongings, so we spent 24 hours without internet service or even a television. We sat warming our hands around a bare light bulb in the living room for entertainment.

We have lived without cable television for the past eight months, which I thought was good preparation for technology deprivation. When we checked into our hotel yesterday, I realized that we’d only created a couple of TV-starved monsters, similar to those children I knew growing up who weren’t allowed to watch television at home, so when they visited my house we couldn’t rip them away from reruns of “Green Acres” long enough to eat dinner. We are now GLUED to old episodes of Law & Order, reality MTV, doubles tennis on ESPN, whatever we can get our hands on. I watched Boo-Bah for 15 minutes this morning. I also spent almost an hour(!) on the “Lost” website, clicking around for previews of the seasion premiere that I’ll never see. So, for the next week, We will devour all the cable television and high speed internet that we can suck down before we fly off to the land where we don’t understand how to change the TV channels, never mind understand what the newscasters are talking about. Fortunately our temporary German digs does offer wi-fi, so I’ll having nothing but time to blog blog blog away. I must say I’m thankful to have access to US CNN this week; the footage coming from the gulf coast is horrific but I appreciate being informed. Many thoughts and prayers are with the people of the Southeast.

By the way, thanks to those of you who showed up at the rummage sale, we got rid of lots of good stuff (there was practically a bidding war over the Berry Bake Shoppe) but somehow we still filled up a big truck yesterday with all of our treasures. I hope we still want all of that stuff when it arrives at our next destination.

Won’t you be my neighbor?

I’ve been imagining this day for weeks – my house would feel airy, my closets purged, no more small plastic quacking duck toys or blue spatulas with price tags on them floating around my life.

It’s true, the price tags are mainly gone (except the one I found stuck to the bottom of my shoe this morning)but somehow the only difference in my house is that our living room is pitch black as soon as the sun goes down because we sold all the floor lamps. I can’t even quite remember what else I’ve sold, besides the microwave, which was missing when I attempted to make popcorn this afternoon.

On the positive side, we met some of our neighbors during the sale. Many friendly folks with adorable dogs and children who have now adopted our toaster, coffee table, leather jacket, and weed eater (I guess I do remember what we sold). Unfortunately we weren’t especially neighborly neighbors during the past five years or we might have met them before we sold our house.

Perhaps this will inspire us to meet and greet the neighbors in our new neighborhood, though it may take me five years to learn “Hello, my name is Blythe, please be my friend” in German.

Everything must go

I’ve been perusing the ads on craigslist and attempting to make mine honest yet enticing. It’s tempting to tell an entire story (we’re moving to Germany and wish we could take along the berry bake shoppe but unfortunately we do not have children and don’t know any Germans who are into Strawberry Shortcake) but I imagine serious garage salers scoffing at my lame sales pitch. So I posted something short and sweet. Let’s hope our driveway is empty by 3pm on Saturday.

All together now

They’ve just reported on the news that the extended forecast calls for RAIN next weekend. That would be the Very Important Garage Sale weekend. I’m asking for your help and support, my friends.

Please take this opportunity to say a little prayer, thought, mantra, to whatever the deity, life force, or goddess that works best for you, and request some sun for your good friend Blythe on Friday and Saturday, August 19 and 20. I will not have a soggy garage sale. And, yes, it’s actually a carport sale, which makes the sunshine that much more imperative. It’s August, for goodness’ sake.

Float like a butterfly

I am a boxer. I am surrounded by boxes, baskets, crates, bins, and tubs. My boxes are in boxes. I am being forced to make decisions on a moment-by-moment basis, surrounded by a disorganized mess. This is one of the layers of my personal hell, though it is an upper layer because so far I’ve noticed that indoor plumbing remains nearby and Rob Schneider is not on television. (Incidentally, I watched “50 First Dates” over the weekend, and I am insulted on behalf of the entire state of Hawaii, since I’ve been there once, in the same way that Ricky Martin is speaking on behalf of Arab teenagers.)

As Jeff keeps reminding me, moving allows us the opportunity to purge our belongings of those items that we haven’t looked at in years, and which are so dusty they make us sneeze just to think about them. However, I refuse to give up my personal history. There is a scientific system (the “yes” and “no” buttons that exist only in my brain) by which I’ve sorted everything (yes, EVERYTHING) in our house.

Some items I plan to keep:
-My fifth grade class photo
-All of my Fisher-Price dolls (My Friend(s) Mandy, Jenny, Becky, etc all the way down to Mikey)
-T-shirt from summer camp
-T-shirt from freshman year sorority function (yes, I was in a sorority; no, I won’t tell you the secret password)
-My first business card
-My husband’s graduate school hood
-Multiple copies of blank RSVP cards from our wedding

Some items that went straight into the green Hefty bag:
-A photo of my best friend and myself in our bathing suits in 9th grade, posing in her grandmother’s living room (no, they weren’t bikinis)
-The completed RSVP cards from our wedding
-T-shirt from junior year sorority function (not as much fun as freshman year)
-Large box of paints and brushes from that art class I took that improved my sense of design so dramatically

Some items that we will attempt to sell at our garage sale (don’t miss it – August 19th & 20th – everything must go):
-Strawberry Shortcake berry bake shoppe
-Picture frame that formerly housed 9th grade swimsuit photo
-Several never-used wedding gifts (no, I’m not going to tell you which ones and who they were from)
-A juicer that Jeff swore he would use weekly. He still loves the Juiceman commercials.
-T-shirt from sophomore year sorority function (more fun than junior year but less than freshman year)

My priorities have really snapped into focus during this project, obviously.

Did you know

that “they” can run a scope with a camera attached down your sewer pipes to check for problems? Or, as my dad said, just like they do with your guts when you have an ulcer. I have the videotape (of my sewer, not my guts) to prove it.

This is The End

Yesterday was my last day at my job. This may shock you, but it’s hard (though, admittedly, getting easier) to do a job on one side of an ocean when you’re living on the other side. I loved my job, but sometimes, you just have to say adios (or auf wiedersehen) to something comfortable and delightful in order to move along to something mysterious and interesting. One of my goals in life is to become more mysterious and interesting, so this must mean I’m on my way, right?

Things I Will Miss About Having a Normal Job
-Office supplies
(orange post-its, hi-liters, binder clips, tabbies, Pendaflex, pretty ink pens) I was one of those kids who begged my mother to take me to work with her back before there was a “take your (insert PC offspring here) to work day.” And my mom was an office manager. Early signs of geekdom, clearly.
-Dressing up
I try to tell myself that I can still wear those cute black heels while I’m cleaning the sink, but that seems more like a Twisted Sister video (or something even more unmentionable) than reality.
-Business cards
This sort of falls under the office supplies topic, but business cards merit their own category. They are personalized and printed on linen cardstock in two-color ink. Just thinking about them gives my structure-loving, rule-following soul the shivers. Nevermind that more than once I gave one away only to later find it forlornly floating in a mud puddle.
-Hallway gossip
There is no one to gossip about, or with, in my hallway at home. I don’t even have any pets.
-Feeling competent all day long
It was nice to see my phone ringing and know, when I answered it, I would most likely be able to respond intelligently to any question and add the important nuances to the conversation and make the caller hang up feeling helped and positive. Soon, I will be lucky to know how to pick up the phone, let alone speak to the person at the other end in a language he or she might understand.
-Independent intellectual power
Yeah, I know more about this certain thing, this thing that I do five days a week and sometimes even more often, than any of my family members and all of my friends outside my workplace. I’m the one to go to for answers about this thing. Hear me roar.
-Smart and funny colleagues
I worked with some really bright people who liked to laugh. And they weren’t people I would probably have met otherwise, and there are a few of them I probably won’t ever see again.

Stay tuned, next time I’ll list everything I won’t miss about work. But first, I think I’ll go take a midafternoon nap on a weekday since I’m still in my pajamas anyway…

Der Travelogue

I am now sufficiently recovered from jet lag to make a report on our “Look and see” (credit Ute, our relocation consultant) trip to Germany.

My little diary:
Day 1 – Holy crap. This is the worst decision we’ve ever made. I hate it here. I am tired and I want to go to sleep. The traffic from Frankfurt to Nurnberg is terrible. Everyone is mean. The TV channels are all in German. It is hot.
Day 2 – Awesome! I love the cobblestones and the historic buildings here. Everything is so old, and yet we could actually live in one of these buildings. People are so nice, and willing to indulge our pathetic attempts to speak German. Jeff is just going to love his new job. The apartments here are really cool. I can’t wait to go test drive a BMW or a Volkswagen.
Day 3 (very very early in the morning) – Why can’t I sleep? I am worried about everything. Will I get fat because of all the sausage? What will I do with myself? What if Jeff doesn’t like his new job? What if I can never learn German and can’t speak to anyone and don’t make any friends and become one of those wives who screeches at her husband when he comes home because he is the first human being she has seen all day long?
Day 3 – I am so glad I took that nap from 8-11am while Jeff went into the office. I feel much better now. The food here is really good, I love eating ham and cream cheese on a fresh roll for breakfast. I can’t wait to buy a bicycle and ride across the cobblestones with a canvas bag full of fresh vegetables in the basket.
Day 4 – I am so tired. I want to sleep all day and then I’m awake all night. Can’t they do something about this? Why is everyone so cheerful? Why do we have to answer so many questions? Didn’t someone tell us that “they all speak English over there anyway?” They lied.

So, it was a little bit of an emotional roller coaster. But it was good to see exactly what we’re getting ourselves into, and especially helpful to see our housing options. We are both looking forward to a time when we understand the street signs and can read a menu without a phrasebook (order the klein beer, not the gross).

Blythe and Jeff are moving to Germany

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why on earth are you going to Germany?
Jeff works for a German company, and he has been offered a new job at their world HQ.

2. Is it a permanent job?
As permanent as any job ever is. It is not a temporary assignment, so we’ll be there as long as we want/as long as they’ll have Jeff.

3. Where in Germany is his job?
In the Nurnberg area, which is located in Bavaria.

4. Is that where you’re going to live? How will you find a place?
We will probably live in one of the nearby towns, depending on housing options. We spent a weekend scoping out the options there in July, and we’re getting some help with relocation logistics from Jeff’s company.

5. Does that mean someone is going to move you over there? Are you going to take all of your stuff?
We (and by “we” I mean “the people who do this sort of thing professionally”) will ship some of our larger possessions in a freight container. We will also sell some of our stuff (watch this space for more information about a rummage sale) and store some of it.

6. Are you going to sell your house?
Most likely, yes. We thought about renting it out, but we figured it would be a big hassle. Let us know if you’d like to buy it, we hear the sellers are motivated.

7. What is Blythe going to do?
First, she plans to sleep off the nervous breakdown caused by dealing with the move. Then, she’ll work on her master’s thesis (see #8 below) and attempt to learn German. She would like to get a job eventually but we hear it’s difficult to obtain a work permit. For now, please do not send her e-mail exclaiming how great it will be for her to become a hausfrau.

8. What about Blythe’s graduate degree?
She plans to finish her MA coursework in nonfiction writing this summer before we leave, then write her thesis during the next year.

9. Wow, it would be a great time to have kids, since Blythe won’t be working.
Yeah, it’s a great idea to make every possible life change all at once, and it should be pretty easy to write a thesis while giving birth in a country where you don’t speak the same language as the doctors.

10. Are you going to be able to come back and visit?
Yes, they’re actually selling tickets on those crazy flying machines these days. Seriously, we do plan to come back and visit. We have signed an agreement in blood that states that we will be in attendance at The Family Christmas 2005, so Lufthansa can count on our travel dollars (euros?) in December.

11. Can we stay with you during World Cup 2006?
We’re planning on instituting a lottery system for our guest room next summer. Please stay tuned for details.

12. No really, can we come and stay with you?
Yes, please visit. We hear that Bavaria is wonderful and beautiful and near the Alps and we hope you will come and see us.

13. No, really, can you get me tickets to the World Cup?
We’ve done a bit of investigating, and it’s not looking good. FIFA is selling the tickets in phases – the next group goes on sale in December – and the demand (not to mention the price!) is high. The good news, however, is that there will be many festive alternatives to watching the matches live, including big screens in city squares and a general celebratory atmosphere all over the country.

14. Do you know German?
No. Not even a little bit. All those years of Spanish class down the drain.

15. What are you going to do with your cars?
2 cars for sale! Low(ish) miles! Great(ish) condition! One smells like a dog (not our dog, we don’t have one) and the other one doesn’t have a working stereo system but they are friendly and good with kids.

16. What do your families think?
We’re not sure, they’ve stopped speaking to us. Actually, they’ve been incredibly supportive and many of them have promised to visit.