Blythe Spirit

Another Bad Hair Day

Look! It’s me in my Mork from Ork shirt and suspenders, ordered from Sears. I’ve cropped out my grandma, with whom I was dyeing Easter eggs.

This is what I looked like during third and fourth grades, and once again it appears that I had just finished playing kickball or rolling around in the dirt or doing something that created a mess of my nicely-coiffed locks. I’m positive that my mom curled my bangs that morning and stuck the sides of my hair up in a honking barrette. It’s shocking that I never developed migraines from the weight of all that hair.

In fact, as long as we’re talking about how much hair I had, here’s what I looked like when I wore all of it in a bun.

It’s not so much a BAD hair day, but it does look very much like I’ve grown a second skull. I don’t even want to think about the additional weight created by all the bobby pins in there, along with the hole in the Ozone layer created by the Woolworth’s brand aerosol hairspray required to keep it shellacked up like that. Incidentally, I was performing a ballet solo on a flatbed hay truck.