It’s from Russia
So I exaggerated a little yesterday when I insinuated that no one ever comes to visit us. My mom and her husband will arrive on Friday, and we’ll do the tourist thing around here for a few days before hopping the train to Switzerland and France. Since they are from Montana, -9 degrees Celsius will seem like a tropical vacation to them. And don’t think I’m the only one whining about the cold around here. When I ask my neighbors about the weather, they say, “It’s from Russia,” like I used to say, “It’s from Canada.” My mom is bringing me chocolate chips and the latest issue of Vanity Fair. Can’t wait to read the interview that Lindsay Lohan doesn’t want me to see.
Besides watching two episodes of Buffy every day (Now I understand what all the hype was about, except I’m not digging the Willow and Tara thing, if I were Willow I would have gone for Faith I think. Or maybe that’s some kind of subconscious homophobia on my part? Though I really believe it’s just that I’m not into whiners. And, by the way, James Marsters is my new TV boyfriend.), I am studying for the German driving exam. Apparently I should have obtained a Louisiana or North Dakota drivers license before I moved here, because in that case I wouldn’t have had to take the test. Or, on the bright side, I should be thankful I’m not from California, because those sun-worshipers must pass both the written and the driving test. I am required only to pass the written exam. While this might seem like a minor hurdle, keep in mind that the Germans are much more serious about these things than the American DMV. I can’t say that I blame them. Should I really have been allowed to drive a muti-ton vehicle through rush hour traffic in Chicago after simply achieving 69% on a multiple-choice test and correctly performing a left-hand turn at one of the five stoplights in my podunk (and I say that with great affection) hometown at the age of 15? I’m apparently supposed to memorize 1,800 (not kidding) question-and-answer pairs in order to pass this exam. (Did you notice that despite not being into whiners, I am allowed to whine I all I want? Just clarifying.) Then I will be legally allowed to drive on the Autobahn, where there is no speed limit. Just like Montana! But with smaller cars and highway dividers! This should be a piece of Kuchen.
1800 questions? I’d say a trip to North Dakota is in order.
You had a stoplight in your MT driving test? I didn’t.
And why do they think Nodaks are such good drivers that they don’t have to take the test? Haven’t they heard the jokes?